What does it mean to be a woman, part Two

What does it mean

to be a woman,

part Two.

In grade five

my science fair project

considered

which kind of music

made bean plants

grow best.

The categories were

Classical - both live and recorded,

Broadway musicals - Les Mis, The Secret Garden, Beauty and the Beast,

The Vacuum Cleaner,

Easy Listening

Pop Music,

And Billie Holiday.

For most of their lives,

the bean plants grew

on the bathroom windowsill

each of them privy

to my sister's singing

and the sound

of the hairdryer.

Back then

I was quite the scientist.

To gain further insight

for my research,

I watched a biographical film

about Billie Holiday

whose name was once

Eleanora Fagan.

This is when I learned that many women

have to change their names

if they want

to be famous.

Judy Garland too.

Judy and the Wizard

of Oz

were my favourites.

I even named

my stuffed orangutang

after Judy

and from a young age,

I drew rainbows compulsively. 

"Them that's got shall get."

"Them that's not shall lose."

Growing up

I was lucky to own

more than one

stuffed primate.

All I remember

from the Billie Holiday movie

was the song, "God Bless the Child,"

and Billie slash

Eleanora

shooting heroine on the toilet

and singing in a bar

where she caught five-dollar bills with her vagina.

"Mama may have.

Papa may have."

At nine or ten years old,

this was the first

I'd seen of such things.

"The strong gets more while the weak ones fade."

The bean plant

that listened to

"pop"

was the winner.

Curated by my sister,

the "Pop" cassette

opened with

"The Leader of the Pack."

Bean plants

it seemed,

responded quite well

to whining

and pining

about dudes.

It's my party

You don't own me

Birds all sing

as if they know.

Billie's bean plant

grew an average height.

Now I might remember

Billie dying her skin white.

Or Eleanora.

Or was that someone else.

My last Fat Day

failed to apologize.

My last Married Man

never climbed up

through my window.

I invited him so many times.

As for me,

when I grew up

I did not become a scientist,

or a singer,

or even a gardener.

Or,

anyone's mother.

It was never clear to me

if Billie got to keep

the five-dollar bills

she retrieved with her

vagina.

Or if that would have made

any difference.

The End.

Good morning
heartache.


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What does it mean to be a woman, Part One
Not That Kind of Girl
First no boundaries on the Internet. Then Psychotic break.