In his chapter, “The Seven Habits of Highly Mediocre People”originating
from this post, James recommends Procrastination. I am grateful for
this and I find it convenient.
“Choose Yourself,” has the tagline, “Be Happy, Make
Millions, Live the Dream.” I’m pretty sure that for James, what is most
important is being happy. On a couple of occasions in his life, James has
had millions of dollars. But he wasn’t happy and he wasn’t living the
dream. He was barely sleeping, his body was a wreck, and he didn’t have
any friends. In 2002, he lost fifteen million dollars in fifteen weeks.
He had a similar crash in 2008.
Each time, what got James back on his feet is something he
calls the Daily Practice. Essentially, it means taking care of
yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
What’s the use of millions of dollars if you hate
yourself and you have no friends and you can’t take a comfortable shit every
morning?
The Daily Practice can be overwhelming if you haven’t pooped
or had sex in a long time, and you’re tired and you hate your job and your
brain feels stale and dead inside. The good news is James says that
you don’t need to fix everything all at once. Remember, we are only
becoming highly effective, mediocre people. No sweat. We can all do
this.
I was listening to an
interview with James on mygreenlight.com,
and James says that if you are looking to begin somewhere, start by getting
enough sleep and then recognizing the abundance that is already in your
life. For instance, James says, if you’re stuck in traffic, instead of
being pissed off about wasting time, focus on the abundance of cars. So
many cars, so much human development. So much prosperity. Or at
least a lot of car payments.
From about January to the end of May, I’ve been pretty
irritated about my life. I’d been waking up at 4 or 4:30 a.m., cranking
myself through a vigorous and somewhat neurotic yoga practice and then hoofing
it to work where I nag at small children to push in their chairs and wash their
dirty hands in French. Every week, I was missing more than a full night
of sleep, about two hours every night. I became volatile, hysterical. I
thought I would kill the children I worked with. My body developed these weird
neurological twitches. Throughout the day, my shoulders would shrug
involuntarily. My esophagus would contract as though I were going to puke. Most
mornings before leaving for work I would throw a hysterical fit about some
tragic issue like how I didn’t have time to take a shit, my pants were dirty,
the new kid was a total brat, and my boss would probably make me stay
late.
The miracle of yoga had never been less abundant.
Fortunately, about a month ago, my left knee swelled up on
my way to work.
Here’s my knee, after the physiotherapist taped it up and it
looked like a scrotum.
 |
| My Scrotum Knee. My pants pulled down |
Now I sleep in until about 5:30. I do half as many
yoga poses. I am two hundred times less bitchy.
My knee is healing really well. It doesn’t look like a
scrotum anymore.
And my shoulder and esophagus twitch significantly less.
I have energy to do more of the Daily Practice. I
read. I write down ideas, even the stupid ones, not every day, but when I think
of it, and don’t feel too self-conscious. I try not to be so pissed off
about everything. That was hard when I was really tired. Now I am
not as tired and so it is easier.
It is also easier to see the abundance. Before I would
look at my work day and see eight and a half hours to kill and waste, plus the
commute.
Being grateful for what I had seemed impossible. I
could barely say thank you to the busdriver. He was driving me somewhere
I didn’t want to go. When I thought of saying thank you, I’d get a lump
in my throat and feel nauseous and ashamed.
I’ve been forcing myself to say thank you to the bus driver,
every day. As I get less tired, I feel more sincere.
Although I’m not making millions of dollars, or living the
dream exactly, I am trying to be as happy I can be, right now. Sometimes
I feel bitter and disappointed that I don’t have as much time to write and do
yoga as I want. But at least I have some time. More than most
people.
Also, there is some abundance in my job. I get to walk
all the time. This helps me to not be constipated or fat. The
school has really big windows and I can always see the sky. Plus the
children are full of abundance. They are full of youth and snot and sometimes
diarrhea. And if you listen, they say many interesting things.
Last week, a five-year-old asked me if I had boobies.
An hour later, a two-year-old looked at me from across the sandbox and said,
“Erica, you don’t have any nipples.”
James Altucher says that most people should quit their
jobs. Probably he is right. Someday I will quit my job. Or
maybe I will get fired for my
radical views on potty training. That is my dream. To get fired because of
the potty training. But while I am waiting, I'm going to think about my nipples
and laugh.
The End.
Thank you, James. You’ve done wonders for my outlook.
And you don’t need to pay me back for the book, because my life is already full
of abundance.
Watch James Altucher explain Choosing Yourself, in 13
minutes:
Follow James Altucher on Twitter: @jaltucher
Me and my vagus nerve: @mypelvicfloor
