Clean and Elegant

Clean and Elegant

Monday, 5 October 2015

Where is Emma Fillipoff (Five)

previous segments of Where is Emma Fillipoff
FOUR: Mental illness runs in the family.

Five: A Mother's Instinct
Erica: "People say, oh you’d know if your kid was dead, but how would you know? People get news all the time that they didn’t know before they heard it."

Shelley: “I really don’t know. I don’t have a gut feeling. My gut is dead. People want to know, ‘What’s your gut? Your instinct? What’s your gut feeling?’ Well, my instinct, my gut is hope. I’m hoping that she’s okay and alive and that we’re gonna find her... My whole life has been by instinct. I raised my kids instinctively, I taught instinctively. I did everything by instinct, with my heart… I never thought about it, I always felt about it. But I can’t say what my gut is about this because… it’s dead. My instinct is gone. Because there are too many possibilities. And I’m too sick over it.”

During the months after Emma was last seen, Shelley stayed in Victoria, devoting her life to a relentless search. In the coverage on Emma’s disappearance, Shelley is at the forefront, handing out and hanging up posters, talking to the media and to anyone who might have seen or known her daughter. It rained every day, aggravating Shelley’s fibromyalgia. Divers searched the harbour for Emma’s body and found nothing. None of the tips or clues led to anything substantial. With each day, it became increasingly less likely that Emma would simply turn up, emerging from around a corner, or behind a tree. Still, Shelley remained single-pointed in her quest to find Emma. I asked her if she cried a lot. During those first two months, and since. The answer is no.

Shelley handing out posters on the West Coast
“I very seldom cry which is weird.” Shelley had been searching for Emma in Victoria for two months when she finally let herself weep. Her ex-husband James had called her to say that Emma’s dog Oscar had died. “I thought for a brief second, oh my God, maybe Emma just died.”

Back when Emma had called Shelley, asking her to come get her, in attempts to keep Emma on the phone, Shelley had said, “that’s wonderful. When I get off the phone, I’ll let Oscar know.” Emma had replied, “Oh that’s okay mom. Oscar already knows I’m coming.”

Shelley: “You know? She was like that. So when he died, I cried and I cried and I cried.”

End of Part Five.
-Written by Erica J. Schmidt
Where is Emma Fillipoff
Read More:

Please Share Your Stories and Tips
Help Find Emma Fillipoff Facebook Group
Email Erica: ericaschmidt85(at)gmail(dot)com
(contact form below)
Email Shelley: fillipoff(at)hotmail(dot)com
Call the police.

Exuberant Bodhisattva on Facebook
Erica on Twitter: @mypelvicfloor

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