As I compose compelling skin care copy, the blog is supposed
to be on hiatus. Despite this, I am inspired to write a response to Angela
Jamison’s lovely and recent post called “Rest.”
Among writers and bloggers, Angela is one of my favourites. Her masterfully
selected words stick with you for a long time.
“Rest.” by Angela Jamison is the perfect complement to "How to Wake Up to Yoga,"and "How to Get Up for Yoga Again."
(Forgive me if I sound like a bottle of re-hydrating anti-age serum. The syntax has permeated my cells.)
Says Angela,
Tread the path with care.
Nothing is certain.
Trust yourself.”
How to Get Up for Yoga Again
“Rest.” by Angela Jamison is the perfect complement to "How to Wake Up to Yoga,"and "How to Get Up for Yoga Again."
(Forgive me if I sound like a bottle of re-hydrating anti-age serum. The syntax has permeated my cells.)
Angela Jamison Ashtanga Yoga, Ann Arbor |
“Waking up, check. Around here, we like intensity, sharp
focus, and fire. Life on the razor’s edge is sweet and clear. But if you only
practice getting up strong, and do not practice going to bed soft, then
imbalances can form in the nervous system over the long term. Some of the first
indicators of lack of deep rest may be: fuzzy mind, emotional unavailability or
reactivity, and susceptibility to illness. In this light, deep rest enables
creativity, meaningful relationships, and vibrancy.
Conscious relaxation shows in a person’s bodily tissues, in
the personality, and in how she relates with time and with the earth. It is
the foundation of Jedi mind training.”
I’ve never had too much trouble waking up early. From the
age of seven, the hands of my Mickey Mouse watch directed an extensive routine
that involved walking the dog, practicing the violin and writing eloquent
letters to my grandparents in Manitoba. These letters came out every single
day. With my smelly Mr. Sketch markers, I lovingly decorated the envelopes.
Over the years, the morning routine evolved and devolved to encompass grueling
swim team workouts, and icy runs with ankle and wrist weights.
As for sleeping, typically I am not terrible. Early into my
Ashtanga days, I stopped consuming caffeine around noon, if not much earlier.
Like clockwork, a chai at 12:30 results in mild reverberations extending past
midnight. If someone needed a sleep coach, stopping caffeine at lunchtime would
be my first piece of advice. Alcohol at any time, and Netflix past 8 p.m.,
these are also risky gambles. Maybe it is worth it sometimes, especially during
family visits. You’ll have to figure this out for yourself.
Many Ashtangis go through a stage of being obsessed with
food. Little to no dinner seems to be a trend, the ostensible key to a light
and energized practice. I’ve tried this a few times, in Mysore and at
Vipassana. Most often it ends with me sitting in the dark, quite hungry.
My body has pretty clear needs, and pretty clear signals. This, I have
come to appreciate. Keeps the Divorce Diet in check. The Vipassana People
eventually took pity on me. By Day 3, they permitted evening peanut butter
sandwiches. By Day 7, they granted me a dinner tray with my name on it, plus
after hours fridge access. Everyone is different.
Let’s talk about imbalances in the nervous system. During my
seven and a half years of unfailingly waking up for yoga, utter
exhaustion definitely came up. In January of 2013, I started a job
speaking French to (mostly) three, four and five year olds at a Montessori
School. It entailed that I rush out of the house to catch the bus at 7:30 a.m.
One hour commute, followed by 8 to 9 hours uttering futile sentences to erratic
tiny humans. Before embarking on this high-intensity process, I considered it
essential that I crank myself through second series, which meant waking up at 4
or 4:30 a.m. It never occurred to me that maybe I could take it down a notch,
in the service of early childhood education. Oh no. Didn’t want to “lose” my
practice. Within three months, my coping skills had deteriorated to verge on
clinical insanity. My body developed an awkward series of involuntary twitches,
replicating a bus driver in anticipation of a head-on collision. My mind became
flooded with traumatic memories from the eighth grade. Each night I would wail
to the Boatman about some traumatic 12-year-old injustice. Particularly raw was
the time everyone on the swim team was invited to Kayla Clark’s fourteenth
birthday party. Everyone except for me. After five months at the Montessori
School, the left bottom half of my body went out of commission. I cut my
practice down to fifteen minutes. The twitches and traumatic memories dwindled
almost immediately.
Rest is important. I often wonder to what extent hauling
dogged ass at non-negotiable hours in the morning has impeded my long-term
healing. So many of my Ashtanga years were spent in a state of mild to severe
emotional catastrophe, not to mention unambiguous joint pain. To the emotional
catastrophe, my fellow practitioners and various teachers would reply, “Oh, the
practice is bringing stuff up. You’re getting into the good stuff. It’s
working.” They made it sound as though clarity and peace were just around the
corner. Although it was pleasant to believe that my suffering stemmed from an
important and profound spiritual cause, I now believe that a component of my
spiritually “good stuff” was nothing but simple, inconsolable fatigue.
An essential, and often neglected ingredient: Take Rest
Posture. Lying Down Club. Sharath insists that it isn’t savasana. Call it what
you like, it has never been my specialty. Too hungry, too horny, too
caffeinated, whatever the reason, my lying down efforts joined the miserably
pathetic four years ago when I moved to Halifax. Ten seconds, ten breaths. I
became terrified of lying down. Sometimes a song would help, as long as
pressing play didn’t coincide with examining the interwebs and all that Wifi
and cellular data had to offer.
Mr. Iyengar recommended that for every 30 minutes of asana,
the yoga practitioner should take five minutes of rest. In Mysore, after
approximately thirty seconds, Sharath would send us on our way. “Thank you very
much. Take rest at home.” The committed amongst us wouldn’t stop for a
coconut. The rest of us would, and maybe that was that.
Lie down, take rest. Practice dying. Such a difficult
posture. Most of the other asanas, I’ve traded in for this. Give the earth your
cells. I got this phrase from a contact improv teacher in Halifax. I went to
her class the day I decided to leave. In the end, you can’t keep anything.
I lie down to practice dying, and give my cells to the
earth. It feels like everything’s unravelling.
Here are some things I think about when I’m trying to relax:
-Metta: "May all be safe, may all be happy, may all
be healthy, may all live with ease."
Funnily enough, I learned this from an elephant journal
article. While you’re thinking it, you can pay attention to how your heart
feels. I used to do this in front of the yoga shala in Mysore, as I waited for
the gates to open.
-Another phrase:
"I’m sorry, I forgive you, I love you, I thank
you."
I learned this from Simon, my ex-ex-boyfriend who jumped off
a building in January. Simon said that you’re supposed to repeat this phrase,
both to your ego, and to the world. The practice cured Simon in three and
a half days. It will take me longer than this.
-The Buddha’s last words to Ananda, who served by the
Buddha’s side for fifty years or more. As the Buddha lay dying, he said this to
Ananda. It makes me wish my name was Ananda:
“Ananda,” said the Buddha,
“Everything breaks down.Tread the path with care.
Nothing is certain.
Trust yourself.”
Big love to Angela Jamison. Deep rest for all.
The End. How to Get Up for Yoga Again
Baby Jedi |
Regarding dinner, agreed. Everyone is different. I know many people who have half a banana in the morning before practice.
ReplyDeleteRegarding caffeine, oh yeah, this is major. I forgot about that.
I'm so glad to read that rest is happening there. It's quite badass, really.
Big love, AJ