Clean and Elegant

Clean and Elegant

Sunday, 9 September 2018

Dear Vincent, Did you lie about your age on Bumble?

Dear Vincent,

I was wondering if you would please consider answering all or any of the following questions for the screenplay. It would mean a very generous contribution to the arts, if not to the next Beautiful Blogging Fairytale. 

How long have you been doing yoga for?

Are your parents alive? What about siblings and birth order?

What is your favourite sandwich?

What is your favourite colour?

How would you rate your sex drive on a scale of one to ten?

Are you able to go to sleep with dirty dishes in your sink? Please elaborate.

Have you ever been married?

How long does it take you to empty your suitcase after you get home from a trip? Do you travel light?

I always assumed you did not have children? Do you? What about pets? Is there cat hair in your refrigerator?

Do I win the Erotic Transference Award?

How do you take your coffee? How many cups?

Have you ever enlisted a cleaning service? Would you like to be put on my waiting list?

When you are old, do you envision yourself doing word searches, crossword puzzles, or Sudoku?

When is your birthday?

Did you lie about your age on Bumble?

See you Thursday!

Love, Erica.

Now there is only one more Monday with Vincent. Some of my grieving has been quite professional. There will be one to three more Dear Vincent post and maybe one to two afterwords. In the meantime and forever, you may write to me or imaginary Vincent at the secret address ericaschmidt85(at)gmail(dot).com. Tell us about your  birthday, the dishes in your sink, the cat hair in your refrigerator, and/or your favourite sandwich. Love always, Erica.

This is me reading my teenage memoirs at Grown-ups Read What They Wrote as Kids and maybe one day there will be Grown-ups Read What They Wrote As Cleaners and/or To Their Therapists

Follow Erica J. Schmidt on Facebook

Exuberant Bodhisattva on Facebook
Twitter: @mypelvicfloor
I Let Go

Bodhisattva Business Ventures:

Deep Cleans by Erica J. Schmidt (@deepcleanswitherica)

Instagram: @deepcleanswitherica

Dear Vincent, The best will be if I heal my knee and maybe also my personality before irreversible climate change sets in.
Dear Vincent, Looks like you got some sun. And maybe also a new shirt.
Dear Vincent, Now you know I have that thing where you love your therapist. 

No comments:

Post a Comment