The part that searches

Tuesday, April 2, 2015

I will miss the wind in Halifax. Outside it always sounds like something is going on and I don’t need to anything about it. I remember meditating in the church at the Montessori school and the wind was always crackling the wooden a-frame ceiling. The last couple of times I’ve worked at the Montessori school, during my breaks, instead of meditating, I just lay down on the floor of the church sanctuary, beside the pews. Sometimes I would fall asleep and sometimes I would stare at the wooden ceiling and think about all the trees it took to build the church and all the people who had come to worship with their families, their people. Even though I was so exhausted, I was lucky to have had that time at the Montessori School. It made my life really structured and I was able to put practice at the centre of my life. I am grateful that my practice was given that structure, that focus, despite the fact that it was often too intense and physically harmful. Intention does count for something. Though there have always been delusions, I have always been sincere. I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I have searched with sincerity. I love that part of myself. The part that searches.

The End.

 

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