I am having more dreams about losing my teeth. First
they become very loose and then they fall out one by one and my gums bleed and
I wake up distraught because I have no dental insurance, and no money.
Time to start wearing my mouth guard again.
There are now 18 more days left of Lent. As I already mentioned, the Boatman and I bailed on our Lent sacrifices. To our credit, I wanted to say that the Boatman and I already make stoic sacrifices all throughout the year. Each time one of us gets a cold-sore, oyster-shaped or otherwise, we have to give up kissing and oral sex, sometimes for weeks at a time. It requires an exorbitant amount of self-control, which I’m sure Jesus would appreciate.
There are now 18 more days left of Lent. As I already mentioned, the Boatman and I bailed on our Lent sacrifices. To our credit, I wanted to say that the Boatman and I already make stoic sacrifices all throughout the year. Each time one of us gets a cold-sore, oyster-shaped or otherwise, we have to give up kissing and oral sex, sometimes for weeks at a time. It requires an exorbitant amount of self-control, which I’m sure Jesus would appreciate.
In other news, Suzanne Robicheau wants to feature me in her
column St. Mary’s Writes, affiliated with St. Mary’s University where I
work as a part-time writing tutor. The column profiles St. Mary’s staff
and students with recent publications. Lucky for me, my self-published
e-book, I
Let Go counts as a publication. Suzanne sent me a couple of interview
questions which she will use to write her article. I found the questions
to be quite thought-provoking and I’d like to share my answers with you.
Erica visits in 2016: Ultimately, the article was never
published, perhaps because in answer to my first question, I mention a worm whose name is strangely close to Cunnilingus. I used to think the word for Cunnilingus was Cunningulus. I also thought Camel Toe was Camel Tongue. And that spooning actually involved spoons. I guess it was an information transmission issue.
How does it feel to publish your first book?
In my book, “I Let Go,” I forbid public self-deprecation
unless you are a stand-up comic. Hence, I cannot undermine myself by
stating that anyone in the world can publish an e-book on Amazon. As long
as you don’t swear too much and stay away from pornography, they’ll take
you. You can even make spelling mistakes. That said, I am very
happy to have seen a project from start to finish. If people read it,
that’ll be even better. My illustrator Sara Enquist and I have been
talking about putting together a book for some time. It was supposed to
be about a worm named Cunningulus, who used to be a Very Powerful King in a
different lifetime, but then we changed our minds.
Why self-publish?
Publishing with a publishing house can take centuries, if
not forever. I am actually going through the traditional publishing
process for the epistolary novel that I wrote with my ex-boyfriend Simon
Girard.
We found a publisher (Bookland Press, Toronto) in a
miraculously short amount of time. Maybe it’s because I’m an excellent
speller. Likely Simon’s previous novels also had a bit to do with
it. I’m delighted, but it’ll probably be another year before The
Little Savage and the Hermit is released. When you self-publish, you
can theoretically get your stuff out there in less than a week. And there
is less rejection, although you still risk rejection and devastation if nobody
buys your book.
Another perk is the royalties. On Amazon, they start
at 35% for a book under $2.99. For books $2.99 and up, you get 70%, but
you might have to pay for delivery costs. Sara and I opted for the 35%
royalties so that our book would cost even less than a Starbucks coffee.
(Update from 2016: Alas, Bookland Press went out of business before they could publish, The Little Savage and the Hermit. Simon Girard jumped off his apartment building on January 4, 2015. I have tried to resurrect the redeemable parts of our epistolary novel in various blog entries.)
Why an e-book?
This is a first edition and we didn’t really have a
budget. Eventually, we would love to put out another print version with
more illustrations. You can put a print-by-demand book out on Createspace
for fairly cheap; however, this raises the minimum costs for consumers.
Since we’re not yet that famous and we still want tons of people to read our
book, for now, we have put out an accessible version than anyone can
afford. So it’s an e-book and it’s only two dollars. If you can’t
afford it, let me know and I’ll hook you up. (ericaschmidt85@gmail.com)
What do you write about?
I don’t usually write self-help books. “I Let Go” is
my first. In section (OO), I grant myself and my readers the permission
to indulge in our obsessions, regardless of what everyone else thinks.
Here it is:
(OO) Feel free to have motifs and repeat them.
I am forever going on about Margaret Atwood and humping duvets and 1008 details
involving my pelvis. I keep telling myself that everyone is tired of
hearing about my pelvis when in truth, hardly anyone has heard anything about
it. If I don’t know you, which will be the case for about 999 900 of my
dear readers, this is probably your first time reading about it - my
pelvis. And so I’m allowed to go on and on. You are too.
Whether your motif is your pelvis or your heart chakra or your favourite
Nanaimo Bar recipe. Own it and go on and on.
Therefore, I am free to go on and on about Margaret Atwood
and the lime green duvet with turquoise daisies on it, and humping this duvet
and the sensations in my pelvis, and the crookedness of my pelvis, and anything
I want about my pelvis depending on the day. On and on I go. Me and
Margaret Atwood and my pelvis thrusting on the duvet. I own all of
it. I also feel very compelled to write about yoga, food, bodily
functions and dysfunctions, Jesus, eating disorders, sex, and people with disabilities.
A lot of this comes from my own experience. I had a writing professor who
warned us “not to just write what you know, or you’ll never know anything else,
and then you’ll be in trouble.” I think you’ll be in trouble if you don’t
write what you’re compelled to write.
What is the writing process like for you?
It can be a bit of a crapshoot, but no matter what, I show
up to the page every morning. I used to be a religious practitioner of
“Morning Pages,” designed by Julia Cameron, author of The Artist Way. Morning
Pages entail 3 pages of uninhibited stream-of-consciousness writing to be done
upon waking. Julia Cameron views this practice as a sort of Active
Meditation that is meant to bring you in touch with your Higher Creative
Self. Very often it also brings you in touch with your angst and
frustration, and everything in the world that you have to do besides
writing. For around five years, I woke up every morning, drank a wackload
of coffee and wrote my morning pages. I have no regrets. Sometimes
my morning pages led to creative insight and artistic breakthroughs and my
Higher Creative Self. Many other times, however, it simply led to
excessive rumination and self-absorption and creative paralysis. Plus my
stream-of-consciousness rarely became very coherent or legible. Thus, for
me morning pages are no longer a daily requirement. That said, I still
like to warm up to writing with a bit of a scrawled out journal-type entry
first thing in the morning. But I don’t force myself to write three pages
and if I feel like working on something more concrete (such as answering these
questions), I’ll do that.
Once the coffee is finished, my writer’s warm-up continues
with two hours of Ashtanga Yoga. I am a very physical person and I really
need that outlet or else the angst is unbearable. For the rest of the
day, I write wherever and whenever I can. I work in cafes, or on the bus,
or at home with the dog. I always carry my notebook with me in my
purse. No matter what I’m doing, writing is always at the back of my
mind. Everything else is preparation, inspiration.
What are the rewards of writing?
For me, writing is the best way to get over the crappiest
things that happen to you. If you don’t write it down, then you suffer
for nothing. But when you write it down, that embarrassing and horrific
situation is just a story. And if you can make other people laugh, that’s
even better.
What impact does it have on your role as a writing tutor
when you model professional writing?
I am very relieved to have switched from academic and
professional writing to writing pretty much whatever I want. Having made
that transition, I have vast empathy for anyone who has to write an essay,
particularly a literary essay, which to me seems about as challenging as
performing brain surgery. I hope that I am able to exude this compassion
when students come to me at the writing centre. I am also an expert on
writer’s block, a common affliction for the students I see.
Who are your mentors??
When I was seventeen, I corresponded a little bit with Carol
Shields (author of The Stone Diaries, and Unless, among many
other books). She told me that I would never be bored because I seemed
like one of those lucky people who could live in the moment. She also
said that all the excitement lay in words, literature, and in the life of the
mind, and that these gifts would never desert me. Every time I feel
discouraged about my writing endeavours, I think of Carol.
That’s all for Suzanne’s questions. Hope you enjoyed
them. Feel free to come up with your own answers.
Happy Spring to All! It’s a great day for a
biodegradable poem. And a toenail fungus appointment, for that matter.
Hope to see you in my dreams. I’ll smile at you with a
mouthful of teeth.
The End.
