For nearly a fortnight, I have been meaning to tell you all
about the lovely and romantic Valentine's Day that I enjoyed with the
Boatman. We went on a date to the drugstore. This happens to be an
excellent way to keep your romance alive. You can go to the drugstore
with your loved one any day of the year. If you do not have a loved one,
the drugstore is the perfect place for you to find romance.
During your drugstore date, take your time through every
aisle. That's what me and the Boatman did. Hand and hand, we perused the Hair
Aisle, the Tooth Aisle, the Bad Digestion Aisle, the Stationary Aisle, the
Family Planning Aisle. The options for conversation were endless:
how to choose the perfect pair of tweezers, the perfect toothbrush, the perfect
comb. We shared intimate details with each other like the
Boatman's struggles with dandruff and my struggles with toenail fungus.
Some people might say that these two afflictions are two sides of the same
coin! That's why the Boatman and I are so meant for each other.
In the greeting card aisle, we each read aloud a Heartfelt
Valentine which we would not purchase. This way we got to express our
Heartfelt Feelings without spending too much money. As the Boatman read
me the Heartfelt Valentine, my heart beat fast and I blushed. Poetry
always does that to me. So does the Boatman.
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| Me and the Boatman, at the peak of our romance. We are at the airport, one of our other favourite date spots. |
One of the most exciting features of the Drugstore Date is
blood pressure machine. Don't miss out. Me and the Boatman indulged
while we were waiting for the pharmacist to fill out the Boatman's
prescription for blue cold sore pills. (For his oyster-shaped cold
sore) The suspense while we were waiting for the cuff to inflate was
excruciating. My blood pressure was lower than the Boatman's, but my pulse was
higher. It must have been the heartfelt poetry.
If ever your romance wears out (which will never happen for
me, but I try to think of others besides myself) , the blood pressure machine
will always be there for you. Most drugstores are open twenty-four hours
a day. What a gift. While the cuff is inflating, you can smile at
the cute white-coated pharmacist behind the counter. He or she will be
happy to answer your questions about kidney disease or thyroid
inflammation. This kind of discussion is always a real treat.
At our Drugstore Date, the Boatman and I got to wait in two
line-ups. One for the blue cold sore pills, and the regular lineup where
we purchased one another's Special Gifts. The Boatman's Special Gift to
me was an emery board for my toenail fungus, a tube of toothpaste and
paint-by-number eye shadow. My Special Gift to the Boatman was an emery
board even though he doesn't have toenail fungus, brandname Q-tips, and
unscented aluminum-free biodegradable deodorant. Standing in the lineup
with the Boatman was just plain titillating.
Please note: If you are going on a Drugstore Date by
yourself, be sure to buy yourself a Special Gift. Choose something satisfying
yet unregrettable. Some trail mix, travel-sized vaseline, rechargeable
batteries or a bottle of Perrier. I myself am partial to brandname
Q-tips, but only you can decide which Special Gift will do.
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| Brandname Q-tips from Days Gone By |
Some people think that when you fall in love, you become
boring to hang out with. That's totally bogus. Me and my life are
more interesting than ever. The Drug Store Date is proof.
The End.
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| Exuberant Bodhisattva on Facebook Twitter: @mypelvicfloor I Let Go, self-help book by Erica J. Schmidt The Kiss Test Why I am like Jane Fonda Mythological, Unconditional Love |
